This is my favorite song of 2011. Or most any year. This is why getting older is getting better.

If Tom Waits had a church, I’d go to it.

#gospel
#truth

Last night was simply devastating. I didn’t really understand what was happening to the Red Sox during September. I had been blessedly distracted by work and an amazing vacation this month, so the bulk of the damage was only revealed to me via box scores and highlights of other teams hitting home runs.

When I started watching games again this week, I just saw botched plays, missed opportunities and a defeated look in their eyes. Even as die-hard a fan as I am, I really didn’t think they deserved to be in the playoffs.

I had fears that something like this could happen back in June. Anyone who sat through the first two weeks of April could see that this team had pitching problems. It was masked by a powerful offense that had a tendency to go on ridiculous scoring streaks. When you score 15 runs in a game, it can mask that your starter gave up 6.

So now I must live with this taste in my mouth for 6 months. It’s hard to see how you fix this team, but here’s my 5 point action plan. In order of importance to survival:

Dump John Lackey.

I don’t care how much salary you have to eat, but cut your losses now. He can’t succeed at the level required here, or probably anywhere. Not sure if it’s a physical or mental problem, but I don’t care. Besides his epic failure on the mound, my guess is that asshole is poison in the clubhouse.

No really, dump John Lackey at any cost.

Not possible to overstate this point, so I’m repeating it. Honestly, all 5 points could be this one and it would be just as effective.

Curt Young needs to be demoted.

You just get the sense that this guy is in over his head. It would be unreasonable to expect a John Farrell-caliber pitching coach, but something has to change here. Even if for appearance purposes only.

Who is in charge of conditioning? Fire that guy.

You just get the feeling that the Sox limped into September. And not in a freak injury sort of way that plagued the team in 2010 … in a worn-down way. Like they weren’t prepared to play 162 games.

Someone needs to mention to Carl Crawford that his batting stance is ridiculous.

Seriously. Have you looked at it? I actually feel like we’re going to see a 2012 Crawford more like the one we expected. But his mechanics are ridiculous.

I don’t even have the strength to really root against the Yankees in the playoffs – although I will certainly follow the games. The Brewers look like a fun team, so I’ll probably root for them. My best guess though is the Phillies will take it.

I wouldn’t take what I say as gospel though. If fantasy baseball is any indication, I really have no idea what I’m talking about. I finished in the bottom 3 of all 3 leagues I play in.

Ok. Back to sulking.

They actually do that. If you see them doing that, I’d run.

Also … they eat bees … and wrestle snakes (they even generally win).

#respect

Today marks the one year anniversary of Jocelyn’s and my wedding. What can I say about that day and this year that wouldn’t sound trite? It was a perfect day … the year since has been filled with love and hope … I’m thankful for every day and moment we spend together … and I look forward to filling the rest of our lives with laughs and adventure.

In celebration, I created another Spotify playlist … Jocelyn wouldn’t like a lot of what’s on here (probably about half – appropriate, I guess, heh) … but these songs always conjure her and us in my mind.

If you’re a Spotify member, click the monkey to listen to a playlist I’ve put together for my Labor Day listening pleasure.

If you’re not a Spotify Member, hit me up, sign up here for an invite (or let me know if you want to skip the line, I still have some invites left).

My first iPod was named Devendra (as in Banhart). Not sure that I actually assigned it that name in any software, but it acted pretty funky – so it seemed appropriate.

One day it just up and died – and I didn’t have a complete backup anywhere. This would be referred to as the Great Music Holocaust of 2004 … if we ever spoke of it again. Which we won’t.

Early the following year, I got an honest, for-real, full-time, paying job. I immediately rewarded such excellent behavior by purchasing an iPod. I didn’t name this one for a long while … probably for fear of being hurt again. However, when the time came to do a clean restore of the machine, it seemed appropriate to name it Wakefield. It’s slow … and sometimes it just shits the bed. But it still eats a lot of innings.

Much like its namesake, I am surprised to still be using this today – but Wakefield only truly works as an external hard drive (unplugged from life support, it gets tired quickly). I ended up naming my current iPhone Tek – for another long standing Sox. The phone still works pretty well, I guess – but I look forward to an upgrade now that it’s past its prime.

He’s the one on the right.

However, Tek’s antecedent, the first iPhone, seemed like a giant leap ahead for Man in 2007. Or whenever that was. Sure, we’d spent the the greater part of the 20th Century developing man-killing machines and watering down culture and personhood – but we had made this thing – which was pretty cool!

Not since grocery door entranceways had we been able to achieve what our science fiction heroes had only dared to dream of – ultimate convenience and service while minimizing physical effort. Flying hover boards couldn’t be far behind.

It seemed only appropriate to choose a technologically advanced hero as a namesake for such a leap forward – Mork.

Which brings me to the newest member of this family. I’m typing this ridiculously nerdy blog entry on an iPad, Heisenberg – also named for a television character, albeit a slightly different breed.

… if you control just one of those three branches of government, you can’t hijack the entire system and say I’m going to blow the country up unless you listen to me.

[The Tea Party has] only won one election to one house once.

…

I think they don’t understand the workings of democracy. They have not been elected as dictators of the United States. They have been elected to one house in one branch of the American government. The only way you can translate your wishes into public policy in America is if you can convince your branch and the other one, the Senate and the White House, to go along with it.

If you can’t, you’ve got to figure out amongst yourself what you can agree on. This is why it is fundamentally anti-democratic –”counterconstitutional” in the words of Charles Krauthammer – to be trying to do this. It’s just an extraordinary act of hostage-taking on the part of the Tea Party. It is holding the country hostage.

Completely agree … although I’m having a hard time seeing this as something besides a failure of leadership by Obama. I think Boehner, in his heart of hearts, probably even feels he failed as a leader this summer.

The only reason why this worked for the Tea Party Caucus (which actually accounts for less than 15% of one body of Congress) is that our country’s leadership didn’t have the courage to make it impossible for them to do this by refusing to cooperate with them … by making it clear that no Tea Party item on the Tea Party agenda would see the light of day again if they dared do this to the country. Or some other tactic that professional negotiators can come up with. You just can’t let a vocal minority railroad you like this – whether you’re the Speaker or the POTUS.

Although, it’s entirely possible that this helps Obama’s  re-election chances as it will be something he can campaign on to refute allegations of excessive government spending. I’m not sure this is quite worth “2nd term insurance” for me, but there it is.

via

A non-definitive 8tracks mix with reflections, observations and associations for a July 4th weekend.

Bonus track: American Girl dedicated to Michelle Bachman.

You manage to persuade some friends to come around to your house and make a noise with you. And if you’re the singer, you have to write some words.

I know that the Red Sox have the best record in baseball since such and such a date. At least they used to. I don’t have time to look that up. Clearly, they’re one of the best teams in the game since May. This is supposed to make me feel really good. And in certain moments, it does …

But implosions are as common as elite performances on this team. And since I expect them to make the playoffs (anything less would be a monstrous disappointment – and, frankly, a disaster for the organization), this makes me doubly concerned. Especially on the mound.

Obviously, this team can hit. But no team can be expected to hit off of Cliff Lee when he’s going like this. And in the playoffs, you’re going to face pitchers of his caliber more often than not … and I don’t think I have a lot of faith in our rotation to pick the offense up in such a situation. Although if in a playoff series, we only needed 3 men in the rotation, I’ll take Lester, Beckett and a healthy Buchholz against any roster in the game. I just worry about that 4th pitcher. I’ll need a lot of alcohol if Lackey is on the mound in a playoff game. Like Everclear.

What would make me feel better? I don’t see the Red Sox picking up a pitcher better than what they have this season. That’s scary. So then the only improvement that’s reasonably attainable IMO would be a right-handed OF that is younger than … oh … me. I’d love a guy like Josh Willingham (although he’s certainly unproven – I just like him). If that’s not possible, I’ll take a Beltran. If Gammons is right and they can’t add payroll (which makes sense), I’ll take a … um … Francoeur? Fine. Ugh.

It should be pointed out that I am in 2nd-to-last place in every fantasy baseball league I’m participating in right now … so I probably have no idea what I’m talking about.

PS – Please do not put Adrian Gonzalez in right field, even for a night. That’s just stupid and dangerous for everyone involved, particularly Pedroia who now has to play 2B, 1st and RF. I’m definitely right about that one.